I Am Irrational

They say the answer to living a happy life is finding your passion and making that your career. I don’t know which “they” people are referring to, and I am also not sure that this is the answer. Of course, if you can find your passion and successfully make a good standard of living over night all the power. But if you are in any way a normal human being this takes time, and life doesn’t wait for you to pay bills.

Personally, I think the secret to being happy comes from a different place. I believe it comes from the place of irrational thought.

My life has been made up of only irrational gestures. From ditching my college degree’s given field of work to move home to my childhood desk, to learning every Kings Of Leon song in hopes to impress a boy I was too awe-struck to speak too. Frankly the only difference from me and someone in an insane asylum is that white is not my color, so I would never wear a straight jacket. That, and I put my irrational thoughts into action.

It is in the most insane of moments I have learned we live in a field of hope. It is in the times that we fear the most, and others fear the most for us, that great things happen.

I decided to leave an incredibly well esteemed university that was a mere hour from my parental dwellings to treck into a land of dust storms and physically pressing winds. No, Texas Tech did not hold a candle to Baylor in academia, number of students who’s parents made in the millions, and dorm room space, but it did give me the opportunity to work an internship that turned into a job and realize my future all by the mere age of 21.

Another great instance in which I used irrational behavior to shape my life was in August, when I moved from a 400 square foot efficiency into a down town apartment. My mom was less than thrilled as I packed up boxes and checked my band account once last time. It made no sense in my mind why she was so worried, the remaining $2 balance in no way concerned me.

See, irrationality is great in both life changing, and life threatening experiences.

In neither sense was it understandable for me to make the moves I did, but in both the outcome was just. I wasn’t acting on irrational impulse in hopes to make something happen, I was doing it because inside I knew my life was changing for the better. Yes, I could have easily gotten into an apartment in which my rent check would have bounced, I’m sure both my parents were stashing their credit cards for the moment I came running. But I knew that by putting myself in a position of irrationality I would be forced to do more, and take one step closer to my passion.


Graduation Station

There are three kinds of college graduates in todays higher education system. Those who went to school for money, those who went to school for a dead end, and those who went to school to become crazy.

If you went to school for money you are smart. You worked hard though college and landed a great position in your JCrew suite. Sure your job might not be the most enjoyable thing going, but you will have weekends off and paid vacation to travel the world with your earnings. You will trade your 6-year-old car in for a fuel efficient, adult-like SUV right out of college as your “First Big Girl/Boy Purchase,” and you will pose with a thumbs up next to it for Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Vine. Your life will be lived in the comfort of your three bedroom two and a half bath home in the middle of the beautiful neighborhood of your choice. Most of these people end up in places like Houston or Dallas. I’m not sure why, it is just what I know. But all in all, I applaud you. You have chosen the way of survival that many are too blind to see. I also offer the advice to buy a really well suited chair with your first paycheck. 30 years of sitting at a desk can be hard on the back. Or wine. Wine always seemed to get my roommates through hard times, and Tuesday nights.

If you went to school for a dead end it is because you are in a creative field and you aren’t being creative. This might sound harsh, but I am only telling you what I know from experience. Being a broadcast journalist who copied AP writing into a 9 o’clock news cast is in no way being a journalist. I wont go as far as to say anyone can do that job, the only reason they kept me around as long as they did was because the actual producer could not, or would not do it. I still can’t decide if he was the most sluggish person I’ve ever encountered or the most brilliant. One time, an overheard conversation lead me to believe he faked an illness and went to Las Vegas for an entire week. The guy was hyperventilating at his desk and coughing up fake hack. If this is in fact true, I believe he is made of sheer brilliance and could find great fortune in teaching others his ways. Either way, my advice for you is to get out. Get out while you still can. Your life is way better than punching away at a computer screen for little to no money. And frankly, in most cases, they are lying to you. Your boss isn’t waiting for a job to open up to place your name on the slightly bigger cubical, one that faces the water jug and not the wall of cords. He likes that you do the work no one else will, and he is making sure you stick around.

Lastly, you went to college to become crazy. Well, really you have been crazy for a long time, and only now you are seeing that it could potentially pay off. You want to start your own business or change the world. You settle for an efficiency in the “hip” area of whatever large city suites the dream best. Others begin to seek pity on your lack of understanding that this is not a game, and you can no longer just play with your own rules. These people pick up the check and saunter off to their newly furnished high rise at the end of the night.

The thing no one tells you about life after college is that the real world is in many ways comparable to a play ground. You can chose who you hang out with, and which activities you take part in. You can be the popular girls who stand on the side and talk sly mess about others, or you can be that weirdo off by herself who is stacking dirt and sticks, while eating the occasional hand full of rocks. All fingers pointed at me on that one. But while everyone is going about their own fun that random kid, she is making things happen. sure it is a mess of dirt when she is little, but at some point in life it becomes more.

YouTube Commencement



For years I have had an abnormal obsession with watching commencement speech videos on YouTube. The way Ellen Degeneres addressed Tulane by saying they didn’t need to go to college was priceless. And J.K. Rowling’s words or wizarding wisdom to the Harvard graduates struck my heart like a binding spell.

It should come as no surprise that I also have an abnormal goal of giving a commencement speech at my own alma matter. As the graduates walked the stage for another time this past Saturday, I thought of the amazing journey they are about to embark on. And how old I felt.

The invitation to speak was clearly lost in the mail, so until next years arrives, I would like to say a few words to those of you popping that university comfort bubble:

“Hello class of 2014, might I say you did it! You fought the ultimate hangover and made it to your graduation. Sitting here you feel no different than you did yesterday. I know because I was in your shoes not that long ago.  But sitting here you are different, and things are about to change. You will move, you will leave friends, and gain things. Like the large stack of bills you father has been warming in his back pocket since his dress pants were fastened this morning.

Most of all, you will never be an undergrad again. Right now you are scared. Scared you will not find a job, or not find new friends. Scared that when you do find a job your life will be over, or that you won’t be able to afford that boat you always dreamed of. All of the sudden your childhood dream of becoming a singer or NBA star seems better than ever.  Thinking to yourself ‘If I leave right now I can get to the court and be straight ballin’ for walk on tryouts.’ You are clinging on to the people around you, and if you are anything like me spending many nights crying on the floor to your mom.

I’m here to tell you the words you absolutely can’t stand to hear: Everything is going to be okay.

It doesn’t feel like it will be, but this is your time. You are so young, and the world is at your finger tips. Most of you have been set up for success and hardly even know it. But you have to be brave about it. Don’t settle for a job in your “Kind-of” field because you fear nothing else will come. Don’t feel bad about living at home. If your parents offer, take it. Cry when things get tough, and beg for answers when you feel like your life is crashing down around you.

We come from a generation of go getters, we need to step up to the plate.

So take these last moments as an undergrad and be thankful for the wonderful memories you made. Remember the professors who let you turn in assignments late, the friends you sat up with talking all night. Think of the first time you had to call your parents for more money, and know there is little shame in asking again. The worst they can say is no. Don’t be afraid to mess up, don’t sweat the money. Be willing to live inside your means, and remember at the end of the day there is always tomorrow. Find your goals and stick to them, you might not be exactly what you want to be right away, but life will always find where you try to hide.

Congratulations class of 2014, you did it. The fun has just begun!”

*Obviously this is the shorter version. Everyone knows a real commencement speech isn’t great unless its 45 minutes long.