Tag: goals

Fears Grand Finale

Leave a comment

Screen shot 2014-07-17 at 11.42.49 PM

Lately it seems the topic of every discussion has circled around the concept of fear. Fear of failing, fear of loving, fear of taking a chance. Much like everything else in my life it came at the perfect, and most frustrating, time.

We all fear. I fear my bank account every morning, and each flight I take as it enters cloud coverage. I fear my nephew being made fun of for a mental disability he didn’t chose, and fear what I will say to the first kid who makes him cry. I fear these things because I am human, as we all are.

Waiting to board my flight I watched Jim Carey’s 2014 commencement speech. I have  an unhealthy obsessed with graduation talks. Hearing his words reminded me just why I’ve spent many nights awake until the wee hours listening to J.K Rowling and Ellen Degeneres speak to universities I never attended.

He spoke of how his father could have been a great comedian, but instead he chose the safety net. He took a desk job, and when Carey was 12 his father lost that safe job and the family struggled to make ends meet.

There is struggle in every path, I get that. But the more I watch college graduates wide scale dreams turn into 40-hour-a-week gigs I can’t help but think something has to be done.

I am in no means someone who has broken this mold. I fear on a daily basis, and the only reason I don’t have a conventional job is because no one would hire me. But thank faith they didn’t. Thank faith that I work from home, or an airplane, and have time to write these thoughts down.

The truth is I talk a lot and never truly say what I feel. In grade school I wrote a novel and let two of my friends read it. Every Aquatic Science class I would bring them another chapter filled with a love story I could only wish would come true staring the boy I sat next to. Ever class they left asking for the next bundle of pages. From that point on I knew what my soul wanted. I knew my goal was to write. The only problem was I feared no one would want to read.

In the faith of breaking fear I’m here to say it: I want to write. I want to share my experience with others. And I want to speak. Speak to college students about breaking their own fears and living a life of love. Love for those around them, love for what they do, and love for their own being. To show them that losing a job offer only means they were not at the right place, and that their path is better than the things that don’t stick in their lives. That if you ask your dreams will come, maybe not in the manner you hope, but in the order in which you are meant to have them.

I want to live a life of love and not fear. I want to be 23 and embrace the fact that I don’t know everything, but I know enough to make a change. So here I am universe, all 5 foot 2 of me. I am crazy and irrelevant, but I believe in having the world at my fingertips and am ready to change it for the good.

Here’s To You, Dad

Leave a comment

crazy

Give my sister 5 minutes and she will tell you just how spoiled I am. How when she asked for a belly-botton ring and was denied it was my sly talk, and dads lack of ability to say no to her younger sister, which had her dawning that tacky dangling jewel. Yes, it is true, my father does indeed love me with all his heart, and hate saying no even more.

Lets be real though, he loves her just as much, and gives her just as many things. Unfortunately for her cell phones were unheard of when she was in 5th grade, and her lack of begging ability really did disable.

The thing we can’t deny however, is just how much our father cares.

Growing up in a middle class family I never really understood just how many things we were given. The moment my computer broke dad was buying another. When I crashed into a tree, he made sure I had a car. When we HAD to do cheerleading, had to have letterman’s jackets that we never wore, had to buy ugly decals that my father would scrape off our cars just a year later, him and my mom opened their pocket books without hesitation. It was never a question of going to a private or public university, we had the choice.

We always had the choice, because we always had a dad who would pick up extra shifts and a mom who would do everything it took to give us what we needed. No, not what we wanted. We drove cars named little blue and did not get senior photos done. Something at the time I could not fathom. But we always had what we needed.

Over the years I have seen the way my father has struggled to give us exactly what we need to Be the person we believe inside. I watch his aching bones go in for shift after shift, and his tired eyes as he pushes on. I call him time and time again to bail me out when my car wont start, and he comforts me when my heart is broken. And it is because of these things that I try so hard.

Parents teach their children a lot of things in life. What manners are, how to escape a bully, when to say no, and how to live a productive life. My parents went the extra mile, they taught me what unconditional love is. They do the parent thing like it was written by them. They put us above everything in the entire world, even themselves and each other. There has never been a doubt in my mind that my parents love us with everything they have, even in the times when they might not have loves each other.

I look at my dad and see a fighter. Someone who shows hope to his family. Who taught us that a little bit of crazy is okay, as long as you know how to handle it. I see someone who never lets us down. Without him I would have never taken this chance on myself. I would never have something to strive for. Never learned what determination is. He has given so much, my only goal is to show him and my mom that it was worth it.

So thank you dad, I hope to make you proud.

Success Is Now

Leave a comment

success

Honestly, I haven’t learned much since starting my own company. I have no line of credit, and just got business cards printed two weeks ago. I think getting a second phone is a good idea, more so because I want the new iPhone and have a need to justify any purchase. I’m also really good at making myself sound professional. Clearly.

There are three things however, that I know for sure:

 

3. “Fake It Till You Make It”

This is actually how I live most of life. That time I said I could fit into a size 0 brides maids dress. Or the time I agreed to do marketing, all faking it until I made it. Or until the zipper burst. In this day-and-age we have to be good at saying yes and figuring it out later. Obviously I would never say I could wrestle and alligator or enter an olympic game. Really, nothing in the realm of athletics. But when it comes to editing videos, or learning social media tactics, my background and need to succeed is more than enough to get me through. Faking it is not about saying you can do the impossible, it’s about being confident in your skill set and allowing yourself room to grow.

 

2. Your Mom Is Your Best Confidant

I never understood why child stars had their moms as managers until I moved back home. In grade school you can tell anyone anything and your only back lash is having a friend withhold conversation for a few days. When you get into the business world things change. Not every day is going to be your best day, and that’s okay. Some times you need to vent about a big project, or your lack to get things right, it’s just no longer as smart to vent in public. This is where your mom comes in. Her job is to listen and make you feel better no matter if you are wrong or right, after all.

 

1. Be Passionate

Over all else, be passionate. I didn’t start in marketing thinking it was the most amazing job around. Sure, I loved the work I was doing, and typing away in my pajamas all day was an added bonus. But, it wasn’t until I started to see improvement in clients businesses that I found my passion in this career. I have seen the passion in the eyes of my business owners, and it reminded me of how far a dream can take you. And now that we aren’t in grade school, the only thing standing in the way of your dreams is you. Be passionate and be purposeful. Even if you aren’t, life will find a way to do it for you.

 

21 And All Figured Out

Leave a comment

_MG_8783

The future beamed as my wobbly, stiletto dawning feet stomped across that graduation stage. A clear vision of me shaking Giuliana Rancic’s hand as she bid ENews a-due and I began my role as lead reporter to the stars unveiled. I knew exactly where my life was headed, and where I would end up, all at the mere age in which a I could legally toss a shot down my throat. I was 21 and all figured out.

Until I was no longer.  See, the thing with becoming the next face of broadcast journalism is that you have to get a job in broadcast journalism. With over 60 resumes and reels sent out, I perched up at my internship turned part time job with FOX34 in Lubbock, Texas waiting for good news. But email after email was left unanswered.

It made no sense. How could someone who tried so hard, took on so many internships, and put work before everything else in college not get a job? The thoughts turned into panic, and the panic into mental breakdowns consisting of nights crying on my un-vaccumed floor. My level of career focus was so high there was not even time to clean. And with such neglect to normal college activity, I could not even take to alcohol to soothe my fears as half a glass of anything left me out of commission for a minimum of three days. College had failed me in the two most important categories, careers and beers.

This is the thing about life, we are given these huge daunting signs, and chose to ignore them. We force ourselves down this path that we just KNOW is right. And, for the most part it is. For the most part your instincts, and either continually passing or failing classes in a major, direct you exactly where you’re meant to be. Though, I fell victim to the blame game. I told myself that the reason I wasn’t getting this dream job was due to lack of hard work, or lack of dedication. Even lack of enough clothes. It didn’t matter that my walk-in closet was packed, I blamed my failures on everything I could think of.

It wasn’t until I finally asked myself “why” that things fell into place. Because my why wasn’t actually to be a journalist. My why was to help people. I want to share stories, and bring light to others. I want to show graduates that they can chase a dream, and that hard work does pay off.  I have always told myself that I was meant to be something. It hadn’t occurred to me that being something came in more forms than being seen on TV.

At the mere age of 21 I packed my things and returned to my childhood desk to chase a dream unclear. In the year to follow I googled the definition of marketing, started my own company, learned lessons, moved out of my parents house, and began helping businesses grow. I don’t have a clue where this will all take me. I’m not sure I will still have a job tomorrow. I wish to write books and start talking to others about dreams. I strive every day to do bigger things and do better things. This is my start to being something, failures and all.

Always, Shelby